Ultimate Guide to Find a Psychedelic Integration Therapist (online & in person)

Choosing a psychedelic integration therapist in Victoria BC or for online video or telephone sessions is a big decision. It is critical that you find someone who is well qualified and a good fit. Psychedelic experiences can open up your emotional perception which, if supported by the right therapist, means that you will be more likely to integrate important and profound insights into your daily life, for long lasting, meaningful change (this includes microdosing). On the other hand, if your psychedelic experience is not supported by a qualified, good fit therapist, you may be less likely to integrate your insights into positive change or growth.

The most important part of the entire psychedelic psychotherapy experience are the intention and integration stages. If these processes are not effectively supported important insights may not be experienced, understood or remembered.

Here are 5 important questions to investigate in your search for a qualified and good fit psychedelic integration therapist:

“It changed everything when I began working with someone who had personal experience with psychedelics and could help me recall what had happened to me during my trips.

”

— Shelby Hartman

1.     What are their qualifications as a therapist?

2.     Do they have specific training in psychedelic therapy, guiding, or integration?

3.     Why do they specialize in psychedelic integration?

4.     Do they have personal experience in psychedelic journeying?

5.     What is their general process and the recommended number of sessions?

For more information on the goals of psychedelic integration counselling and our process please read this.

 While you’re asking or researching these questions, also ask yourself: what is my comfort level with this person? Did the therapist “get” what I was saying? Did they ask for clarification and avoid making assumptions or misinterpretations? 

Overall, it’s always best to go with the person whom you connect with - listen to your heart and gut!

Ready to find the best Victoria BC and online Psychedelic integration therapist for you? Contact us today to set up an appointment.

How a White, Settler Counsellor Supports Social Justice

“In my class and place, I did not see myself as a racist because I was taught to recognize racism only in individual acts of meanness by members of my group, never in invisible systems conferring unsought racial dominance on my group from birth.”

— White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh

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I would like to acknowledge and thank the Lkwungen People, also known as the Songhees, Esquimalt, and Beecher Bay First Nations communities, for allowing me to live, work and play on their lands. I also give thanks to the ancestors, supernatural ones, hereditary leaders and matriarchs, creatures big and small for looking after the rich resources and cultural teachings of this beautiful land.

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Racism is an insidious, pervasive product of dominant power relations in our Western society. If you are a white person in this society you have both witnessed and have been complicit in racism - yes, you have played a role in racism (whether you’re aware of it or not, you have).

The first step is admitting it. Yes, this is extremely painful for some of us to realize, but we must not commit to our guilt, or engage in “races to innocence” which further supports racism. A “race to innocence” is when someone focuses on their own oppression and trauma which blurs their recognition of the oppression of others, and their own role in that oppression (Fellows & Razack, 1998 as cited in Chapman, Hoque & Utting, 2013). It is our responsibility (as white people) to choose to move forward in a more informed, anti-oppressive/anti-racist way, cognizant of the role of our privilege.

Carla Leuschen, MPA, MSW, RSW

Owner & Counsellor, Strength in Heart Counselling

The next step is critical reflection. I’m a white woman. And yes, I admit it, throughout my life I have both witnessed and been complicit in racist narratives. However, through the progression of my life and career, I have learned to adopt an “anti-oppressive” perspective which now informs my life and my work as a counsellor. Anti-oppressive practice values the recognition and critical reflection of ones’ own complicity in oppression as well as the unlearning of internalized dominant narratives (McIntosh, 1989; Sawyer, 1989).

Critical self-reflection is the analysis of one’s positionality and life experiences to gain insight into how layers of disadvantage and power overlap and intersect to form perceived knowledge and identity (Heron, 2005). As part of my practice, I regularly critically reflect on the intersectionality of my privilege and internalized oppression and how this interplay affects my identity and ability to practice in a socially just way (Heron, 2005; Weinberg, 2015). This self-examination enables me to question my beliefs, thoughts and behaviours which supports my ability to take responsibility for my oppressive complicity as well as to resist reproduction of dominant power relations.

“Reflective practices offer us a way of trying to make sense of the uncertainty in our workplaces and the courage to work competently and ethically at the edge of order and chaos...
”

— (Ghaye, 2000, p.7).

For example, I was raised in a small Canadian prairie town where patriarchy and whiteness were the norms which early on led to feelings of inadequacy as a woman (internalized oppression). By reflecting on my life through a lens of privilege I recognized that my internalized narratives of female inadequacy led to an early lack in self-confidence which contributed to my internalization of racist norms (internalized domination). In other words, in a subconscious attempt to offset my feelings of powerlessness as a woman, I internalized normative racist ideals as a white person. However, I now use that experience to inform my work from an anti-oppressive/anti-racist perspective which allows me to support and empower my clients (and myself) toward social justice.   

Take conscious action toward a non-racist identity. What this all means is that I am consciously committed to continually unpack and unlearn racism and oppression in my life and work. I constantly question how my actions and thoughts benefit me or support my western ideologies rather than benefit my clients. Based on this, one of the first things that I explain to a client when I meet them is that they are the expert of their own worldview and life story which means that they will guide their therapy (with my support and space). I also do my best to work with clients from a relational standpoint which means that I sometimes share my own relevant personal life experiences so that we can authentically connect across our differences. If disconnection (e.g. segregation, borders, binaries, etc.) is at the root of oppression and suffering, then re-connection with each other is the antidote!  

What is your privilege? What is your oppression? How do these intersect to produce racist ideals in your worldview? How can you move forward in a good way?

Here are some things that you can do to build and support your non-racist identity:

·      Recognize when “races to innocence” show up

·      Commit to unlearning your internalized dominance/beliefs of normative ideals

·      Recognize and explore the value of cultural differences (rather than manage or ignore)

·      Engage in anti-racist activism and practices

·      Don’t “learn off the backs of the oppressed” – educate yourself!

• White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh

• Cultural Perspectives Training this July

• Kuper Island Documentary

• Truth & Reconciliation

• Protecting the Sacred Cycle: Indigenous Women and Leadership

• Indigenous women authors to read

·      Don’t steal the voice of the oppressed – Tell your own story. How does your learning and unpacking of racism make you feel? What is your complicity? How will you move forward in a good way?

We can all do this!

References

Chapman, C., Hoque, N., & Utting, L. (2013). Fostering a personal-is-political ethics: Reflexive conversations in social work education. Intersectionalities: A Global Journal of Social Work Analysis, Research, Polity, and Practice, 2(1), 24-50.

Heron, B. (2005). Self‐reflection in critical social work practice: Subjectivity and the possibilities of resistance. Reflective practice, 6(3), 341-351.

McIntosh, Peggy. (1989). White privilege: Unpacking the invisible knapsack. In Gender Through the Prism of Difference. Oxford University Press. pp. 278-281

Sawyer, Janet. (1989). Internalized dominance. Quarterly Interchange Exchange, 1(4), pp. 16-23. 

Weinberg, M. (2015). Professional privilege, ethics and pedagogy. Ethics and Social Welfare (ahead-of-print), 1-15

What REALLY Matters to You?

How do you want to live your moments? Is your life in alignment with this? Are you happy?

Your heart knows the answer.

Start to tap into your heart's knowledge with this short meditation by Tara Brach. “Reflection: The Compass of our Heart (9:07 minutes)”

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Strength in Heart Counselling supports clients to re-access the strength in their hearts so that they can release the past & embrace their potential!

Specialized in depression, anxiety & psychedelic integration.

5 Common Myths About Online Counselling Therapy (Telehealth) – BUSTED!

1.     “Online therapy is expensive or complicated to set up” - FALSE

You might assume that online therapy requires expensive or difficult to use equipment, but it doesn’t! All it takes is:

· Webcam (most laptops have one built in)

· Reliable internet connection (fast enough for video)

· Headphones with an integrated microphone (optional & the headphones that you use for your cell phone should work)

· Strength in Heart uses a simple, user-friendly application for online counselling which does not require any downloads

2.    “Online therapy isn’t effective” - FALSE

Of course, counselling in general is not effective for everyone, all of the time, but a large body of research has found that online therapy works just as well as in-office therapy for a wide range of conditions and issues. What does have a significant impact on the effectiveness of counselling therapy is the quality of relationship between client and counsellor.   

3.    “My insurance company won’t cover online therapy” - FALSE

In most cases, insurance is not a barrier to access online therapy. During this time of COVID-19 social isolation, and as the usefulness and effectiveness of telehealth counselling becomes increasingly clear, more insurance companies accept online therapy. The best approach is to check with your company whether they cover online therapy or not – it’s likely that they do, or that they will make a COVID-19 allowance.

4.     “Counselling should be either in-office or online therapy – not a mix” - FALSE

Counselling in-office and online can actually complement each other well. A mix of both approaches can enable clients to have more schedule flexibility which is often convenient for rural or remote clients, parents, those who travel for work, or commuters.  

5.     “Online therapy is not private” - FALSE

Counsellors such as Registered Social Workers, Registered Clinical Counsellors and Registered Psychologists all adhere to strict professional and ethical client confidentiality codes. This means that all of your information (including video and audio messaging data) is safely stored and encrypted.

Strength in Heart Counselling treats all aspects of your personal information with the greatest care and takes active steps to protect your information. As per our professional college requirements, we securely store client/clinical information on our online practice management system, Jane App, a North Vancouver-based company with secure servers in Canada. This system has a private server bank located in a secured SOC2, Type2-certified data centre, and all data is backed up regularly on secondary servers in Western Canada.

In addition to storing your information in Jane App, we also conduct online video counselling through Jane App. Each video session is encrypted using 256 bit encryption when sent between our devices and the system’s servers. Sessions are anonymous and are never recorded or stored.

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Question to the sick by a Native American Medicine Man: “When was the last time you sang?”

Each day I try to read an entry from Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening”.  Today’s entry is particularly relevant to what is going on in the world right now with COVID-19.

“We often underestimate the power of giving voice, but it is real and sustaining. It is the basis of all song. It is why prisoners break into song. It is why the blues are sung, even when no one is listening. It is at the heart of all hymn and mantras.”

Now more than ever, we need to listen to what is pressing on our hearts and give voice to it. Sigh, mumble, talk, cry, sing, whatever your heart needs to express to heal!

Coping with COVID-19 Isolation

We are in an interesting and potentially stressful time. The COVID-19 crisis has impacted all of our lives, and has led to anxiety and fear in many of us. Although we may be physically isolated, we are not alone, we are in this together! We all need to stay present when the fear shows up and face it with courage, intelligence and care. We don’t have to let the fear and anxiety further isolate us.
 
How do we do this?

Practice Compassion

We need to have compassion for ourselves and others as we make our way through this. It’s also important to recognize that each of our experiences throughout this time will be different, but equally as valid. Do you feel energized and motivated to be healthy and active right now? Great, but don't forget to give yourself some downtime to feel your feelings. Do you feel unmotivated and stuck on the couch eating comfort foods? That's okay too, but don't commit to it. It’s also okay if you feel both of these things (and others), if you sit somewhere in between them, or if your feelings oscillate day to day or even minute to minute. Allow yourself and each other to be how you need to be right now.

Practice Daily Mindfulness

It’s more important now than ever to make sure that we’re all well resourced in terms of safety, strength and connection. We also need to focus on responding rather than reacting to our experiences and take a daily responsibility for our wellbeing. Together we can tune into the joys and simple things that make us alive and connected. We can do this by asking ourselves daily questions like:

• What am I grateful for today? 

• What brought me joy today?

• Who am I checking in on, or connecting with, today?

• What expectations of myself and others can I or have I let go of today? 

• What is most important to me in this moment?

• How can I connect with nature today?

• How can I move my body & sweat today?

• How can I be creative today?

• How can I stimulate myself mentally today? 

Below you will find a list of online resources to support you in some of these practices.
 
I’m working my regular hours via video and telephone, so if you need support I’m here. Reach out to me at anytime via email, phone or text. We’re all in this together and we’re going to get through this together! 

Take good care of yourselves,
Carla

"Magic & power don’t come from contemplating all that lies ahead, how much needs to be done, all that might go wrong, whether we’ll get through. That's fear."

Fear overwhelms. The present moment brings peace. Feel what you need to feel & let it go. 

-Melody Beattie, "Journey to the Heart"

Online Resources:
 

Self-Compassion Meditations & Exercises

Guided meditation from Michael Sealey "Let Go of Worries & Strengthen Health"

"Eye of the Hurricane" Meditation 

Tara Brach Meditations & Talks for Pandemic Support

Free Mindfulness Resources to Find Calm and Nourish Resilience During the COVID Outbreak

Heart-Opening Visualization

Life-Hack: 25 Best Self Improvement Books to Read No Matter How Old You Are

Top Personal Development Reads This Year (Last updated March 2020)

Authentic Self-care

Redwood National Park 4K Virtual Hike

Yoga with Adriene, free yoga classes online for almost any focus

Fitness Blender: Free Workout Videos

The Lifeline Canada Foundation Apps For Your Brain 

Courage Practice to Build Self-Confidence

Talking to Children About COVID-19

Radical Compassion Free E-book

Beyond Anger: How to Hold On to Your Heart and Your Humanity in the Midst of Injustice Free E-book

“Dis-connection” leads to “Dis-ease”. Connection is the Antidote!

Disconnection from our selves, others, & nature is at the root of our suffering. We all have a natural, infinite inner strength that transforms pain & supports our physical, mental, & spiritual health. Negative life events can cause us to disconnect from this power which leads to dissatisfaction & disease. 

We empower clients to push the boundaries of “normal” & re-connect with their inner strength & resiliency so that they can live their life with balance, connection & vitality.

Specialized in anxiety, depression & psychedelic intention/integration counselling

It's time to release the past & embrace your potential!

Do you feel overwhelmed?

“Magic & power don’t come from contemplating all that lies ahead, how much needs to be done, all that might go wrong, whether we’ll get through. That’s fear.”

Fear overwhelms.

The present moment brings peace. This is the foundation of much of my work with people - Start at this very moment, begin with the small steps, the first step of the first task, one step at a time. Feel what you need to feel & let it go. Soon you’ll find your own way again.

This is from today's daily meditation in "Journey to the Heart" by Melody Beattie which deeply resonates with the SIH philosophy & work. Each of us has a universal strength & resilience in our hearts, that when blocked leads to dis-ease, & when open allows us to experience life, love, happiness & fulfillment.

Claim your strength – contact Strength in Heart today!

Suicide Prevention

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day hosted by the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) in collaboration with the World Health Organization (WHO) and the World Federation for Mental Health (WFMH). According to the Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention, someone, somewhere in the world dies by suicide every 40 seconds which accounts for more loss of life globally than war, acts of terrorism and homicide combined. To add to that, worldwide suicide rates have increased by 60% in the past 45 years. These sobering statistics demonstrate the dire need for ramped up worldwide suicide prevention efforts!

Research into the predictors of suicide has found that risk factors vary around the world and that suicide is a complex issue with many psychological, social, biological, cultural and environmental factors at play. In the past I worked in psychiatric research where we studied the relationship between mood disorders (depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder) and suicide. We found that suicidal thoughts were predicted by mood instability (2015) which has since been further researched and supported. Interesting work, but I have to admit that I don't focus on the scientific, statistical research findings about suicide much anymore.

Over the years my personal and professional experiences with people affected by suicide have led me to a different view. What I understand now is that disconnection from ourselves, others and the environment is increasing which leads to feelings of isolation and hopelessness related to suicide.

What is the answer? Re-connection! To thrive and live fulfilled lives more people need to start connecting and loving themselves, others and the earth. We can bring those sobering global suicide numbers down, one hug, one vulnerable conversation, one relationship at a time. Turn off the screens, spend time in nature, breathe with each other, sweat with each other, cry with each other, love with each other. Take time to authentically connect – share your fears, your hopes, your joys, your sorrows - show each other that it’s OK to be vulnerable.

Someone, somewhere in the world dies by suicide every 40 seconds. There is no time to waste – we need to start re-connecting now.

If you or someone you know needs immediate suicide support please contact one of the following resources. If you think someone’s life is in immediate danger, call 911.

British Columbia:

Need2 Suicide Prevention & Support

Crisis Centre BC 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

Canada:

Crisis Services Canada

References

Bowen, R., Balbuena, L., Peters, E., Leuschen-Mewis, C. & Baetz, M. (2015). The relationship between mood instability and suicidal thoughts. Archives of Suicide Research, 19, 161-71.

Bowen, R., Balbuena, L., Leuschen, C. & Baetz, M. (2012). Mood instability is the distinctive feature of neuroticism. Results from the British HALS. Personality and Individual Differences, 53, 896-900.

Bowen, R., Baetz, M., Leuschen, C. & Kalynchuk, L. (2011). Predictors of suicidal thoughts: Mood instability versus neuroticism. Personality and Individual Differences, 51, 1034-1038.

Build Your Self-Confidence

“Confidence is courage at ease.”

- Daniel Maher

We are in a self-confidence deficit. I work with clients that live in Victoria, and also from other areas and countries (through virtual counselling). No matter where a client lives or what they do, most share that they have low self-confidence which feeds into their depression or anxiety. Not surprisingly, the foundation of much of our work together is based on increasing their self-confidence. Although there are many tools and methods to do this work, one of my favorite ways to increase a client’s self-confidence is to help them build a courage practice.

“Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all the others.”

– Winston Churchill

How is your self-confidence? How often are you courageous? 

Here are some guidelines to help you build your own courage practice:

• Exercise your courage muscle often

Courage is like a muscle that gains strength with practice. Commit to practice it often. This can be daily, several times a week, or weekly. Try something new, face a fear, etc, - it doesn’t matter if it’s a big or small challenge, any effort will either build or maintain the strength of your courage. Anything that you continue to practice becomes a habit.

•  Make a list of your fears

If you have a list of what scares you then you can begin to plan out how you will be courageous. Once you have the list organize your fears in order of importance. Which one do you think has the most impact on your mind, or hold you back the most? Which would be the second? Third?... Start with the small ones and slowly progress through them one by one. As you tackle the smaller ones you will build the confidence that you need to face the larger fears.

•  Analyze your biggest fear

By objectively analyzing your biggest fear you will begin the process of eliminating it. With your biggest fear in mind, write down the answers to these three questions:

1.     How does this fear hold me back in life?

2.     How has this fear helped me in the past? Does it still help me?

3.     What would I gain by eliminating this fear?

•  Recognize & accept that things will go wrong

There’s no way around it – when you practice courage you run the risk that something could go wrong. Accept it when something doesn’t go quite right – this is a courage practice too! When something goes wrong, have the courage to learn from it and move on. Remember pain or stress is temporary and will pass.

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.”

- Mark Twain

•  Commit to your decisions

Believe that you will more often experience positive outcomes which represent your virtues and self-development. The following analogy from Rollo May’s “The Courage to Create” is a good illustration of this:

“The acorn becomes an oak by means of automatic growth; no commitment is necessary. The kitten similarly becomes a cat on the basis of instinct. Nature and being are identical in creatures like them. But a man or woman becomes fully human only by his or her choices and his or her commitment to them. People attain worth and dignity by the multitude of decisions they make from day by day. These decisions require courage.”

• Most of all, have fun being courageous!

Self-care is not a new idea!

Self-care is not a new idea! The Ancient Greeks practiced “philautia”, or the love of the self, to promote societal honesty and compassion. They believed that individuals must love themselves before they can truly love others in a healthy, honest, unconditional way.

“all friendly feelings for others are an extension of man’s feelings for himself.” – Aristotle

Today we agree that self-care leads to improved immunity, & decreased susceptibility to stress, anxiety, depression, & other mental health issues. However, self-care often takes the form of materialistic, individual things such as spas, shopping, travelling, etc.

True self-love means that you take care of yourself in an authentic, self-aware way that is specific to you as an individual – it doesn’t need to cost money!

Here is how you can direct your self-care process toward true healing & self-love!

1. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself.

Do you have an inner gremlin? Work to shift your inner monologue to be more supportive & compassionate.

2. Don’t always use self-care to distract yourself from issues.

Distraction, like reading a book or watching a movie, can be a great form of self-care (i.e. when exhausted, anxious, worried, etc.). However, constant distractions can lead you to numb out or ignore your issues and create a backlog of festering, unprocessed thoughts.

3. Pay attention to your emotions and process them.

Self-care must give you time to consider your stressors and to feel into your emotions. This might mean that rather than watch a movie you do a guided meditation, or talk to a friend. The most important thing is that the activity allows you to access your thoughts & feelings, & enables you to develop a more positive perspective, some emotional release, or even relief. Don’t forget, “what we resist persists” (Carl Jung)!

4. Care for your physical health.

Daily routines can be turned into self-care! Can you sleep earlier/longer? Can you eat food that is more nourishing?

Once we love ourselves we can begin to heal our families, communities & societies!

Contact me to learn more about my counselling practice in Victoria.

Heart-Opening Visualization

Good early morning!

Today's daily meditation in "Journey to the Heart" by Melody Beattie deeply resonates with the SIH philosophy and work. Each of us has a universal strength and resilience in our hearts, that when blocks leads to dis-ease, and when open allows us to experience life, love, happiness and fulfillment. 

I love this heart-opening visualization!:

“Picture your heart. In front of your heart see a beautiful rosebud, tightly closed. Whenever you want your heart to open, picture the rose blooming wide, beautiful, alive and fragrant. Whenever you want to retreat, turn the rose back into a bud.”

Give it a try! 

How did it feel?

What leads you to close your heart?

Does it deserve that power?

Really, does it?

Love today.

Contact us to learn more about our Victoria BC counselling services.

Three Ways Counselling in Victoria BC Can Help You

For some people, therapy is an unfamiliar service that has a lot of myths and stigma attached to it. If you have ever been to a therapy session, you will know that it can be very different from what people often see on TV or hear from others. With the rise in awareness about mental health challenges, more people are now seeking therapy as a treatment option or support source.

If you’re thinking about going to therapy but are still hesitant to book your first session, here are three ways that counselling in Victoria BC could help you:

Therapy is highly personalized

Guess what? Therapy is not just for people with significant mental health issues or emotional distress! If you’re struggling, confused, or just need someone to talk to, therapy can be beneficial for you. Since it’s such an individual experience, the therapy process will look different for every person. If you’re dealing with a more minor issue, it’s likely that your therapist can work with you to develop solid strategies for dealing with your issue in just a few months. For other more deeply rooted challenges, therapy can be a journey that lasts more long-term. Therapy is never a one-size-fits-all treatment, and even people with similar challenges can have very different therapeutic experiences.

Therapy is a way to reach goals

If you think that going to therapy means that your therapist will give you advice, tell you what to do, or ask you how everything makes you feel, you might want to think again. Your therapist’s job is not to solve your problems for you, but rather to support you as you develop a plan to find solutions that will work best for you. This means that if you have a goal in mind for yourself, therapy can help you explore how you can make changes to reach that goal. It’s very useful to have an outside perspective on simple day to day interactions as it can offer a fresh look at things that you may have overlooked.

Therapy puts you in control

In any therapy session, you’re in the driver’s seat. If you get lost or stuck it is your therapists job to navigate or help you out, but they never tell you where to go. This is why it is so essential to find a therapist that you work well with, and don’t settle for a therapist whose personality does not match well with yours. Above all, you should trust your therapist to provide you with the support you need, otherwise your treatment process could be encumbered by doubt. 

Going to counselling sessions is no walk in the park, but if you put in the time you will most likely see lasting results. Working with a therapist that understands you is a great way to treat a whole host of issues while building the skills to take care of yourself in the future.

Are you ready to find out how therapy can help you? Contact us today to book your Victoria BC counselling session! 

The Downward Cycle of Depression

When I work with people affected by depression or anxiety one of the first things we look at is their inner voice or self-talk. Some of these can be nasty. Maybe like a shoulder “Gremlin” – cranky, pessimistic and abusive. Or maybe a continuously dissatisfied, angry coach – Try harder! Why can’t you get that right? You’re never good enough!

People try to quiet these voices by focusing more on them. It’s as though their mind is trying to fix the unhappiness by thinking more about it. This rumination can lead to a downward spiral of depression and anxiety where people find themselves “stuck” and isolated – unable to see their own way out.

In our counselling sessions one way that we interrupt this cycle is through exercises that rework automatic responses to these inner critics. You can change what you feel by changing what you think!

Sometimes our minds also need to stop working...to stop doing and just be! Mark Nepo supports this idea in today’s entry in “The Book of Awakening”: “Sometimes the simplest and best use of our will is to drop it all and just walk out from under everything that is covering us, even if only for an hour or so”

Do you take time to “walk out from under everything”?

Five Questions To Ask A Victoria BC Therapist

Choosing a new therapist in Victoria BC is a big decision, and finding the best fit for you is of utmost importance. It’s a vulnerable time when you may need to tell your private thoughts and information to a stranger. It’s not always easy to know if they will be able to support you in the way that you need or prefer. It’s especially difficult to determine how a therapist can help you solely based on their skills and experience. Here is some valuable guidance to help you to get an idea of what you’re looking for in a therapist. Below are 5 guiding questions to ask a potential therapist to determine if they are a good match for you: 

My problem is _______. What are some ways that you would go about treating that?

If you don’t have an actual diagnosis, start with your symptoms. If you have trouble sleeping, worry, or angry outbursts, let them know and see what they recommend. If you resonate with their response, it is a good sign that you two might be a good match.

Do you tend to lead the session, or let your clients lead?

Depending on where you are at with your treatment and what you prefer, you should know if you want your therapist to set the agenda or would rather have them let you talk about what you would like.

Do you prefer to focus on the immediate problem first, or the deeper issue?

If you’re seeing a cognitive-behavioural therapist, they will likely want to focus on treating immediate symptoms, while psychodynamic based therapists will look into the root causes of a problem. See what they respond with and think about how that approach could match what you are looking for in a treatment plan.

What are your strengths as a therapist?

Don’t be afraid to ask your therapist to think critically about what they are good at, and how those strengths can help your specific problem.

What type of relationship will we have in our work?

Therapy can be different for everyone, and you will want to consider the type of relationship that your therapist is willing to have with you. While some therapists treat sessions like a space to practice real life situations, others prefer sessions to be more of a resource where clients can take small pieces of information into their outside lives. This can change the client-therapist relationship and cause treatment to either click really well or maybe miss the mark.

While you’re asking your therapist these questions, don’t forget to ask yourself questions too! Ask yourself: what is my comfort level with this person? Did the therapist “get” what I was saying? Did they ask for clarification and avoid making assumptions or misinterpretations? 

Overall, it’s always best to go with the person whom you connect with - listen to your gut!
Ready to find the best Victoria BC therapist for you? Contact us today to set up an appointment.

Be Gentle And Kind

Today's daily meditation in "Journey to the Heart" by Melody Beattie is another great one perfectly in line with the Strength in Heart practice philosophy! I love this!!
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"Somewhere along my life's journey, with all its trials, moving about, business, and experiences, I had let gentleness slip away. Now it was time to go there again. It was a reminder to be gentle and kind to others, be gentle and kind to myself."

Your Ability To Love And Be Compassionate

The Dalai Lama said it! Whether he intended this to be literal or metaphorical, the message is clear - we need to be compassionate for our selves and others to survive!

Your ability to love and be compassionate is dependent upon your connection to the strength and resiliency in your heart.

When life gets tough we often close our hearts in the belief that this will protect us and make us stronger. In fact the opposite is true! When you close your heart you block the natural flow of energy and love that you are born with. This is what is happening when you are depressed or anxious.

The good news is that you can re-access this innate strength and resilience!

Contact me to book a session to discuss how I can help you find the strength in your heart to live your best life now!

10 Ways To Cope With Depression

If you’re struggling with symptoms of depression, there are many different strategies that can help promote positive thinking and alleviate stress. While seeing a therapist is always an option, the same types of treatment and management strategies do not work for everyone. Below are 10 things that you can try to help cope with symptoms of depression. 

1. Make a lifestyle change

   Did you know that your lifestyle choices can affect your mood? Making small lifestyle changes can help you manage your mood and treatment beyond medications. Think about what small change you can make to make a big impact. Start with baby steps!

2. Keep a journal

   Expressing yourself through writing is a healthy way to let go of thoughts and feelings that may be troubling you, and keeping a daily or weekly journal is a great tactic to manage stress. Even writing for only a few minutes a day can completely change your mood!

3. Find ways to boost your self image

   One of the most common effects of depression is low self esteem, so being able to feel better about yourself is a key part of a treatment plan. Practicing positive thinking, focusing on your best qualities, and spending time with friends can help boost your self image and get you on the way to feeling your self.

4. Stay involved

   Those struggling with depression often feel like they want to withdraw from social situations, but social connections can actually prevent downspirals and further isolation. Try to push yourself to stay involved with friends if you can.

5. Keep a schedule

   Keeping a routine is a helpful coping mechanism for depression as it helps keep motivation at a steady level. Even just scheduling one small activity to do every day can make a huge difference in productivity and self esteem.

6. Get some sleep

   Sleep is one of the most underrated coping mechanisms for depression, as rest is essential to a good mood. Try to go to bed and wake up on a regular schedule for maximum benefit.

7. Ask for help

   Friends and family can do wonders to bring you up when you are feeling down. Don’t be afraid to ask your loved ones for help - they love you and will most likely have no problem being there when you need them!

8. Eat foods that make your brain and body happy

   A good diet and nutrition regime can help you feel healthy, give you energy, and even change the chemical composition of your brain. Adding elements such as Omega-3 fatty acids to your diet can help keep your brain healthy and reduce the symptoms of depression.

9. Get some exercise

   Exercise brings many psychological benefits that can be essential to those struggling with depression. Not only does it help you sleep better, but exercise elevates your mood and gives you a sense of accomplishment which can make a huge difference to your day.

10. Work with a therapist

    For most people, seeing a therapist plays an important part in overcoming their depression symptoms. A therapist will be able to provide you with techniques and strategies to help you with the 9 other suggestions above!

If you need help developing a plan for dealing with your symptoms of depression, our experts are always ready to talk. Contact our counsellors in Victoria BC to set up your first session. 

What Do You Need Most Right Now?

Are you having a bad day...or week? Here are some useful strategies to turn it around:

• Identify what has gone wrong or why you are in a bad mood. Sometimes recognizing that you’re in a funk will be enough to pull you out.

• Examine your emotions: What is beneath your immediate emotional reactions?

• Practice looking for the silver lining. Our brains are evolutionarily wired to look for threats which means that modern day minor annoyances (e.g. traffic!) can be interpreted as threats which leads to a negativity bias where we are focused on things that go wrong. To break free of this neural rut you can train yourself to notice when things go right. This can take form in many ways - many find it useful to use a gratitude journal where they write down a few things each day that they are grateful for.

• Create a practice of empathy and give others the benefit of the doubt. For example, if someone is giving you a hard time, imagine what their stressors might be - maybe they have a sick child, money problems, or something else.

• Cut yourself some slack! Personal change takes time and practice. Try using your bad moods to practice some self-compassion. Try to regularly check in with yourself throughout the day, and ask, "What do I need most right now?" It's possible that a glass of water or a quick walk may be all you need to raise your mood.

• Zoom out! Take a look at your past experiences of bad moods, days or rough patches. How did they end up working out? Remind yourself that this is temporary.

Contact me to booking a Victoria BC counselling session.

How To Handle Public Anxiety

If you suffer from an anxiety disorder, you’re far from alone. You are probably familiar with how difficult it can be to have an anxiety attack - but one of the worst places for this to occur is in public. When your mind is spinning, the last thing you need is to be surrounded by strangers as you try to calm yourself. Below are some strategies to help you cope with public anxiety in a subtle and manageable way: 

1. Just breathe

   Breath work is a great place to start when you feel any anxiety coming on. Start by focusing all of your attention on your breathing and try to take slow deep breaths. You can do this by inhaling for a count of 4, holding the breath for a count of 4, and then exhaling for another count of 4. Repeat this to help calm your system.

2. Talk to yourself

   Use the voice of reason with yourself as a reminder that you are safe and not in harm’s way. Repeat these words over and over to remind yourself that all is well. Talking to yourself can help you calm down - especially if you are not with a trusted friend who might otherwise talk you down.

3. Visualize

   When you start to feel anxious, try visualizing a scene that calms you. This might be your living room, a quiet beach, the basketball court, or your favourite park. Put yourself in that scene by carefully visualizing every detail including sounds and smells that might be in that space.

4. Listen

   A great way to distract yourself from oncoming anxiety is to listen to your surroundings instead of your thoughts. Listen to every sound in your environment, and be sure to identify each one. To give these sounds your full attention, you can’t be thinking about anything else - and this helps you forget your worries and calm down.

5. Carry essential oils

   Many people have success with using essential oils and aromatherapy to calm themselves in anxiety producing situations. Try to keep a small bottle of your favourite essential oil (lavender is great for calming) in your bag so that you can inhale the scent or rub the oil itself on your temples. 

When anxiety strikes in public, it can be a terrifying experience, but you don’t have to let it control you. Try the above tips to help manage feelings of public anxiety, and book a session with our Victoria BC counsellors to discuss additional strategies that can help you manage your anxiety one day at a time.